Thanksgiving

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving. Everybody here ate plenty and enjoyed each others company and Emma running around the house acting crazy! She sure is growing up fast!

Twick or tweatzes

Okay everyone, Emma has figured out the Halloween thing. I gave her Mr. Pumkin and she calls him and off we went. I took her for a trial run to NanNan's house and she knocks on the door and says,

"Twick or treatzes!!"

Oh my god, I almost fell out. It was the cutest thing.

I loaded her into the car and we went around to a few houses. I didn't take her through a whole lot of neighborhoods. There really wasn't a big need for it.

She got the hang of it fast and the next thing I saw was her running from house to house knocking on doors. We went to about 10 houses total. Most of them were friends and family.

Halloween

After being in hairbow hell for the past 6 weeks, I finally realized that it was Halloween. Where did the time go!?! I decided to bake a cake and start buying and carving pumpkins. I went to the store and after spending about 15 minutes walking up and down the cake mix aisle, I chose a lemon supreme cake. Came home with my 3 huge pumpkins and then I thought about Emma's costume. Decided to pull the Bumble Bee costume out of the cobwebs in the closet, then proceeded into the living room to teach Emma to say "Bzzzz". LOL.. She's been running around the house all day saying "Buzzzzzzzz".

I put her on a stool at the kitchen table and let her mix the cake batter. Which she got everywhere! So funny, but you gotta love her! After I spent 2- minutes making the lemon pudding to go in the middle of the cake and then putting the icing all over it... Emma sticks her face in it! I couldn't believe it. I was shocked more than anything else. What can you say to that? Nothing... just love it and laugh about it. Hey, it's a story to tell her husband!

The Terrible Two's

I don't know if Emma's terrible two's have improved or gotten worse. Some days are certainly better than others. She cracks me up with the things she says and does. She's comes out of the blue with the weirdest things. Yesterday I was headed to the bank which is right past WalMart. I turned the corner and I heard a moan from the back seat and then Emma says,

"Oh... No... Malll Mart..."

I couldn't believe it. What's wrong with WalMart. I thought that she loved to go there because I give her the chance to push the cart around the store. Apparently, my two year old has decided that she doesn't like Walmart, and from the sound of her moan, I should be looking at other shopping store options.

My mom thinks the whole thing is funny. My dad used to give Emma these like valentines candy hearts all of the time. They are pure sugar and Emma asked for them every time we went over to their house. I had to come up with another solution of her "PawPaw Candy", as she calls it. I switched Dad over to giving her these little sweet tarts. She loves them and they are her hang up. Well, them and chocolate milk! She throws a fit if I don't give her the blasted milk.

Then there is bedtime! Oh my God... I would rather drive nails through my molars than to face this time of the day. She has a choice to fall asleep in her bedroom or on the sofa. Then I move her to a room of my choice. Basically, mine or hers. Depending on how much sleep I want that night. She screams and throws herself around, she hollers and screams, throws her cuppie and then finds every excuse she can to get out of bed or off the sofa and run around. She cries and throws another temper tantrum. Screams for chocolate milk... yeah, like I'm really insane enough to give her chocolate milk at this hour of night.

I scream, "Get in the bed...."

She screams, "No.. No.. no... " whining follows every time.

By the time this routine is over and done I am the most frustrated parent on the planet. Shit, no wonder I have anxiety and my stress level is at the highest that it has been since I was 21 years old!

Then there is the potty training issue that never seems to end. I have been given so much advice about potty training. None of it is working but I've been trying! She pees on the floor, takes off her diaper, pees in her underwear.. OH god! There is NO end to this madness. I gave up and put a diaper back on her. She didn't go for that so I started using the pull ups and we cut her off of PawPaw's Candy. That is now only used as a reward when she uses the potty. Every now and then she will come to me stark naked and say, "Mommy, I go potty."

I'll go in the room in which her potty is in, this room is usually always a surprise for me, and there it is, a potty full of pee-pee. Other times, she will just rip her diaper off and pee right where she stands. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not rewarding her enough... Maybe I need to give her the golden ticket to the chocolate milk factory as reward enough for her potty efforts!

She will soon be behind this stage and I will be watching her pack her little book bag and run off to school.

A Pain in the Back

I hurt my lower back today. I'm laying in traction in the middle of my living room surviving. I feel like the "lone shoe" this week. I can't believe I did this and no one bothered to tell me that this hurt like hell!!! I wouldn't wish this on my enemy!

The doctor gave me a medication that makes me feel aweful. I called and told the doctor about it and he told me to stop taking it. Yeah... a pounding heart beat sucks when you can feel in in your throat and ears. I don't like that!

Been A While

Hello everyone! Its been a while since I popped in and posted. I haven't forgotten about everyone. I have been really busy. Emma has been getting spider bites recently and we have had to spray for every insect under the sun.

We ran up to the YorkTown river over the weekend to hang out on the beach for the day. It was so wonderful there and Emma had her first chance to ever play in the sand on swim in the ocean. She had a blast!

She wasn't scared to run into the water. When her little feet started to sink into the wet sand she got the biggest grin on her face. She screamed and ran into the water. She can't swim but she made every effort. I think that she will learn to swim rather easiely since she likes the water so much. I hope anyway!

How does your garden grow?

It's been raining for 3 days here. I totally love the rain. I am the type of person that would love hurricanes. I remember living in Puerto Rico when Hurricane Jorges hit. I loved it!!! The wind, the rain... Wow.. I was safe inside a cement house. What did I care! That house wasn't going anywhere.

The reason for me bringing up the rain is that my garden is growing so well. I can't believe what the rain has done for it. I mean it could only make it grow more. When I decided to grow a vegetable garden it was only for tomatoes. Then I decided that I didn't want to pay $1.05 for green peppers so I threw a few of those plants in. Then I decided that I wanted corn but I wasn't sure that it would grow real well out here so one day I go and get a bag of different seeds and a bag of soil. I sat down at my table with foam cups and plant my little seeds kidergarden style. I fed them and watered them everyday. Gave them plenty of sunshine and watched them germinate. Donald told me that I was crazy and that it won't grow. Well, they did grow and so I transplanted them and wow.. LOOK AT THEM NOW!!! I'm gonna have pumpkins in October!!! Lots of them!!

Hot Headed

I'm hot headed and I admit it.

Today I went to the daycare to pick up Emma. She is there every day of the week but Tuesdays. Hell, even the daycare needs a break! They told me on Friday that a dental office for kids was coming in on Tuesday (tomorrow) to look at the childrens teeth and they asked me if I was interested in having them check Emma's. I agreed to it after reminding the owner of the daycare (Dorothy) know that I don't usually bring her in on Tuesdays and could tomorrow be an exception because of the dental office. I wasn't planning on bringing her in on Thursday or Friday of this week either because we were leaving to spend the night at my Grandmother's house. She agreed and that was the end of it.

Today I came in and clocked Miss Emma out as usual and I turned to remind her husband of the plans and before I could get all of what I was saying out of my mouth he interupts me and tells me that they have a "no drop off" policy and that I wasn't going to switch my days up like it ornot. I tried to explain to him what I had already talked about with his wife but he kept interupting me. He tells me that I will not be bringing her in on Tuesday. I tell him that he won't have to worry about it because I won't be bringing her back at all and that today was the last day he was going to be an asshole to me. I was so mad I left cursing!!

Then half way down the road I decide that I am going to go back and get her things. I walk in puffed up and pissed off and tell him that I am going to get my daughters things. I walk into the classroom, grabbed up Emma's belongings and leave mad again.

Half way down the road I remember that I left ALL of her medication and for a brief moment thought about whether I was going to go back and get it. She started coughing which told me I was going to have to go get it. Why make her miserable because her mama's a bitch! I turn the car around. Parked half assed in the driveway, grab Emma out of the car seat again and walk BACK into the daycare even more puffed up than before. I asked him for my medication and then he proceeds to tell me that the no drop off is policy and I proceed to tell him to kiss my lilly white ass and that I would be back in the morning for her pullups because I wanted to talk to his wife anyway. He told me not to stop payment on the daycare check. I told him I had no intentions of doing that but thanks for putting the thought in my mind. I planned on letting him cash that check so he could buy paper to print off his fucking policy and wipe his ass with it.

So, I'm home. I called Donald to tell him what was going on and all he could say was,
"I was having a pretty good day till I got this phone call. Good news is, I don't have to pay $117 a week for daycare anymore! WoooHOOooo!!"

Emma's 2nd Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!!! My little Miss Priss turned 2 years old today! I got up early this morning and took her to daycare and then set out to make her a cake this year. I think it turned out okay. I got a few balloons and put them up on the fence. Her eyes almost popped out when she saw them. She couldn't believe that she had three balloons all to herself. She kept saying "alloon.. alloon". It was adorable! We had a little cook out for her. Nothing much. Just a few hot dogs and hamburgers. Mom came over. Dad didn't. (he never does show up to things anymore) Donald came over to wish his baby girl a Happy 2nd B-day. The landlord came over. Emma calls her Granny and calls her husband (Bill) Pop Pop. They really love Emma.

All in all she got some wooden blocks, crayons, coloring books, a Hanna Montana Punch Ball, a bouncy ball, 2 new summer dresses, several books (Emma is CRAZY about books!!), a bath tub book, sidewalk chalk, several bottles of bubbles, $20 and a bean bag chair! She had a GREAT day!

Tats

I did this a long while ago and eventually I plan to finish it. Of course, when all my priorities are straight first. I do love this tattoo and I always thought that it would hurt like hell to get one. It didn't hurt though. I went in and said "tat me!" LOL... Something like that. I hopefully plan to put Emma's footprints from her birth certificate tatted around the tierra. It's really cool though. My niece says that maybe I should intertwine a vine of roses all around it when I'm done. It's on my ankle, well now it's starting to move UP the leg a bit, but still it's pretty and I have gotten some what addicted to them. LOL.. If you can believe that. My mom was shocked when I come home with it. Blaine cheered me on.. LOL.. He thought it was great. Mom likes it too don't get me wrong.. The wierd thing is, I don't understand why this shocked everyone so much! I'm the one in the family who is EXPECTED to do all the crazy shit! I was the one who drove semi's all over the country, cleaned out power houses full of scolding fly ash and layed pipeline. I have always considered myself the black sheep of the family and to be honest I have always been okay with that. I decided al long time ago that there isn't a thing that a man can do that I can't do better..... Okay... I take that back.. There are some things I'm not equipped to do!

Allergic reations

The owner of the daycare calls me today in a panic. I answered my cell phone and immediately she starts to apologize to me for everything she fed Emma at school today.

My little gem is severely allergic to SOY!! Her doctor said that she would grow out of it by the time that she was 2 or 3 years old and so far she has gotten less sensitive to it but she still breaks out and blows up. It depends a lot on how much of it she has taken in. I tried to tell them that if the word soy is anywhere in the first 5 ingredients, don't give it to her because she'll have a reaction, then they'll call me, then they have to do an incident report, then I have to come get her, then I have to sign the incident report... If they don't give her the soy in the first place it saves us all paperwork in the end. In conclusion, not giving Emma soy products saves trees!!

My little blowfish!! She takes it all in stride and I love her for that. She just keeps going and that is something that I truly admire in my daughter. Nothing gets her down!

Growing up

I can't believe she is almost 2 years old. It seems like yesterday that I was bringing her home, swaddled in her fuzzy blankie. I actually miss the spitting up and the early morning feedings. Before she started hitting and kicking. Throwing herself onto the floor in a temper tantrum. The impatience (which is Emma's trade mark) The not listening or selective hearing.

I also find it hard to believe that something so small can raise your blood pressure. LOL.. But Emma can do it!

She is such a delight though and I know that I'm going to be looking at her 10 years from now or even a year from now and wonder where all of the time went and wishing like hell that I had them back.

I'm BACKKKKK

Sorry it has taken so long to blog. My world has been turned upside down these days.

I got a job the first week of May and if you live in Virginia then you know that finding a job is very hard to do these days. Especially while your still trying to get a college degree at nights (online) and you are a single parent with no babysitters at hand. Which means no 2nd or 3rd shifts and no weekends.

I come down sick the second week in and it was no wonder that I did with everyone coughing and hacking around me. I tried to bite the bullet and found myself eventually with no voice. Seeing that my new job was working as a telephone sales representative. This was no good for me. My doctor told me to stay out of work. It took three weeks to get my voice back. It took two weeks for my job to decide they didn't need me. Don't get me wrong! I understood. Hell, if I hired someone I would at least like for them to show up to work. Under a doctor's care though, Hmmm.... I would have been a bit more generous. But business is business!!

So, I opted to hit the pavement again looking for work. The one man in my life that told me that he would always be there for me decided that his house payment was more important... (please refer to the "I hate men" blog) for a discussion on the latest asshole in my life!

So after all of this happens, of course you know you can't pay the bills with no job. I paid that were considered "important" and had to let the others take a backseat for the month. Then reality once again smacked me right across the face. My cable gets turned off. Now I have no cable and no internet. I'm stuck watching Hanna Montana DVD's to occupy the baby. (she's totally stuck on this girl at 23 months. Go figure!) I can't do my online classes because I don't have high speed and dial up takes forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever............... It took me 20 minutes to get my email and another 10 to send it.

Hey, finally got a job working at the local Waffle House for $2.13 an hour!!!! Oh... Plus tips! I can't believe that's legal! The tips would be great but the problem is that I am serving to elderly men who use the Wafflehouse as a place to go when they are tired of hearing their wives morning bitch sessions. I drip 5 pots of decaf and they drink 4 of them. I feel like I'm in the middle of a badly acted out scene from Grumpy Old Men! They run me to death and at the end of their lengthy stay they leave me a 50 cent tip! EACH!!! How nice... Emma's gettin' steak tonight on that Buck 50!!!

I go to pick up Emma at daycare. Bring her home, set her down and get her shoes off when I finally take notice to how HOT she is. I run franticly for the thermometer to find out that she's sporting a 103 degree fever to go with the 90+ degree weather we are having. She's sneezing, coughing, crying, hoarse and of course I can't leave out the puking! I take her to the doctor the next day and she tells me to let it pass and doesn't give her a thing to help her but some cough meds. Candy Apple flavored!! This is a joke because I can't get my daughter to eat sweets as it is but she thinks I'm going to be able to get her to eat some yummy candy apple flavored cough meds! PLEASE!!

I finally get a bit of relief when I get an email from my Aunt in California (I can not say thank you enough... I was able to get my internet back and not completely loose out on my classes. Not to mention blogging again :) Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!! @-->------

To sum things up: Emma is healing nicely. She still has a bit of a cough but nothing her "yummy" cough meds aren't taking care of. I'm still trying to hold it together at the WaffleHouse. I've still got a bit of a cough that my shit flavored cough meds are taking care of. I am currently looking for better employment after work and the asshole just informed me that he "might" have to sell his "other" truck because he doesn't know if he will be able to make his HOUSE payment. I looked him in the eyes and said " I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR HOUSE!! PAY YOUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT!!!

Dislikes

Lately, I have had the worst feelings of ickyness ever!

I can't recall a time when I felt like that all of the time and I am looking back on my life and hating all of the things that I could have changed. I feel like I wasted so much of my life of pety things and not really bothering to live for myself. I live for my daughter now and I love her so much but her father.. I don't like him.

A Cheating Man

When I turned 25 years old I thought that I would do something wonderful with my life. But I didn't. Well, not then anyway!

I ended up getting married to a man I should have clearly, never married! We moved to Puerto Rico and after not having his children and living in a country where the language was forbidden, by my husband, for me to learn (he didn't want me to learn the language, this way he always had an advantage over me) I settled for mental and physical abuse from him.

He joined the Army and after deciding that I was leaving him during the "boot camp" period, I wasn't planning to look back. He calls and conviences me to stay and of course, I did. With the understanding that the Army would "change" the abusive man that was sent to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. After that, we moved to California, he changed.. for about 2 weeks and then it was back to the usual mental and physical beatings.

Honestly, to make a long story short.. I was glad when I caught him with the "other woman". I'll never forget that day. I walked in on them and simply said to him,

"When your done.... You and I need to have a powwow in the living room."

I was calm and cool. As a matter of fact, I don't think I even had an expression on my face. Just cold and emotionless.

I let him go. Simple as that. Of course, she went out the bedroom window that day and he left with a nights set of clothes. I came along behind him and dropped the rest of his things off at the girls front door. Only to end up having this conversation with her.

Other girl.. "What do you want me to do with his things?"

"I don't care what you do with them. He doesn't live with me any more!"

Other woman.. "What am I supposed to tell my husband?"

Besides trying to hold back the initial shock that she was married and then laughter, all I could muster up was .....

"Well, tell him to move over in the bed because your boyfriend is moving in!"

I left her standing on the front porch with a small box of my husbands belongings. I turned and walked away from my marriage!

I still attended college there in Monterey, California and one day during class break I met a woman who would change my life for a while. She was attending school there as well and I loved talking to her. I asked her if it was okay to stop by her place sometime to talk and she informed me that she lived in her car at the local park with her son. I was shocked! Then to piss off the ex husband I moved her and her son into quarters! What did I care! I took 2 people off the street and by the time that I had left, I had made 4 new friends. She found her long lost daughters (2 of them) and I had friends up the wazoo and wasn't thinking about... what's his name!?!

After about 4 months I had to move from Monterey , so I opted to come back home to Virginia. I drove for 3 days because money was to tight for a hotel room and we all know rest stops aren't that safe. I left all of that behind me...

Now I set here 9 years later with my only true accomplishment, Emma. The ONE good thing that come out of all of it in the end. She is my rock, she is my inspiration, she is my diamond, she is my soul, my everything.

I don't remember a whole lot about those times in California, except the beatings. Those I remember well. Funny, how people always remember the aweful things that happen in their lives and really struggle to find the good memories.

A few days ago I got a phone call from those 2 daughters of the woman I took in. They were so happy to find me and I was completely shocked that they had been looking for me. I really loved those two. They where my rock back then and I sometimes thought that I needed them to get by even a day. They were easy to talk to and listened all night if I asked them. I really needed them. When I left California I lost touch with them. I'm really glad that they loved me enough to come calling after all this time. It turns out that we all have children now and life went on.

I truly believe that at some point in every womans life, they wonder if they share their bed with a cheater!

Overview

Potty training .... still not doing well.
Grocery shopping .... hopeless when she's leaning out of the cart screaming "bless you" to everyone
Eating out .... can't do it! Stomach is tore up from having to eat within 15 minutes flat!
Driving ... Emma has figured out how to escape the car seat
Playing nice .... she still throws the sand bucket at the kitty cat
ALL of her fish is DEAD!! I still can't figure that out!
Diapers .. still takes them off and runs through the house naked
Computer ... no particular settings anymore with Emma beating on the keyboard. Oh... and she has figured out the printer makes paper come out of it. Not good!! Trust me on that!
My mind... I still don't know where it went!

Pity Pot

I have come to realize that since becoming a mother I am totally clueless at raising children. Thus, I ask alot of questions to alot of women who (1) have more children than I do (2) have alot more experience with children than I do and (3) have raised their children to become positive and productive persons of society.

Emma's greatest ambition these days is to potty train. At first I thought that this was impossible for her age but then again I live with her and figured out that if she knows what throwing away trash means, then she could MAYBE figure out potty training.

Here we go! I have taught her that she needs to go potty when I go, even when she doesn't do anything at least she can go through the motions. A little practice never killed anyone. Well, not when a potty was involved. Ya' know, just a way for her to get the idea. Now, I ask her if she needs to go potty, she immediatly runs to the bathroom, takes down her pull ups and pees on the FLOOR! In FRONT of the potty! I think we're getting close! :) Literaly.

So I decided to buy those little potties that play a little ditty when the baby goes. LOL... This is a joke. MY baby has figured it out! So now when she wants to hum to a tune she simply goes to the bathroom and pours her sippy cup into the potty, the tunes sound off and she dances!

Conclusion.... Potty training... Harder for Ma Ma than baby!

Behavior

Ok. Now I know you guys may think I'm crazy for posting this but I responded to a comment over the Super Nanny Community Board concerning a mother who asked if it was right to place her 18 month old daughter in "time out". Of course, every person who comes to the site "claims" to be doctors and psychologists etc..

I started putting my daughter in "time out" at around 14 months. She was WILD! Even though she disn't understand the whole concept of time out at that age it ALLOWED me the opportunity to get her used to the idea that if she does something wrong then she will get placed in "time out".

This lady turns up out of no where with her first post, claiming that what I am doing is wrong and that by placing my daughter into time out at such a young age, this will cause my daughter not to have the behavior again. YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT!! Ummm... where is the DOWN side to Time out! I mean I put her in there because I don't want her to have the behavior again! I personally think that this woman is off her rocker! AND I also think that if she spent any amount of time with Emma she would soon be visiting her doctor for stabalizers. I mean Emma is a wild little child and has been that way since she was 12 months old. The moment she started walking she began terrorizing the house.

Easter

Well, I finally got the Easter thing over with and not a moment too soon. My little Easter Emma got up at 6:00 AM wanting to play. When I really came to and opened one eye she was laying there with her diaper half way off and holding her toes the whole time saying "Nan Nan" and "Maaa". Emma doesn't call me Mommy often. It's always "MA". Go figure. I think she has heard me scream it so much at my own mother that she has picked it up. At any rate, We had a little Easter egg hunt and she whined for a while. Then decided that it was easier for her to hold the basket and she kindly allowed me to hunt and pick up her eggs. I clearly realized that I got the raw end of that deal. I had just gone out and hid the eggs and now I have to go back and pick them up. She was pretty cool about opening all fo the eggs and eating the jelly beans inside. I just loved it though. We all had a blast with family here. We ate and had food and fun. It's funny because poor Mark uysually has to hide whenever he's around Emma. She burst out in tears every time she sees him.

We started dying Easter eggs yesterday and Emma had a BLAST! I couldn't believe how she dove right in to it. She kept throwing the eggs into all the dye colors. We had eggs with 5 different colors on them. She was so adorable.

Sandbucket Kitty

This little girl is my world! We sat around today and watched her play with this stray cat that roams the neighborhood. She is an only child and sometimes I watch her when she's walking around the house, shuffling her little bare feet along the carpet. Her hands wondering along little "no-no" trinkets around the house, watching her cut her eyes at me to see if I'm watching her touch "the forbidden" items.
Today, I took this picture and as you can see her feet is off the ground! That cat brought Emma so much joy that she was jumping up and down. Okay, now that's from the picture view. Reality: you see that little yellow sand bucket? She was trying to beat the cat with it. The cat being so uncared for was happy to be beat with that little yellow pale as he was clearly getting attention of some sort. Needless to say I made her stop it, of course! But, the point is, well, there is no point. Just a kid having a blast with a kitty! :) God bless everyone!