I haven't been feeling good recently. I don't know if I'm coming down with a bug or if I am burning to many candles at both ends. Probably both with my luck right! Hell, I have to keep myself busy all of the time. I can't just sit around and pull lint out of my belly button! I just feel yucky all the time!! Maybe I'm going through the change of life. What does that really mean, the change of life. Your not changing into another life. It's the same life just with raging hormones. Well, maybe it's not a change at all! Not for me anyway. Doctor's say that the change is when your body starts to loose hormones and reduces the risk of pregnancy. Hell, I can do that by not having sex! No sex, there!.. No more baby's! Yeah, my luck I would get preggers at 50 and then I'd have to stand in front of my 75 year old OBGYN at his office screaming "TAHHH DAHHH".. Look what I did! While Emma stands innocently on the side lines muttering something about a baby sister, the family "you might be a redneck if.." potholders and how the trailer is no longer solely hers!
So it's Valentine's day coming up next month. Have you noticed that commercialism has got a hell of a racket set up!? There is a holiday in every month of the year! Every month!! They get our money coming and going! So now it's valentine's day on it's way in! The one's who have lovers have to beat down other lovers to get roses, cards, candy and whatever thing that their spoiled ass women want! Just like Christmas.. except this holiday will get a man sleeping on the couch for a month if he doesn't get her what she likes! Cause' we all know that nothing is truly from the heart anymore.
No more construction paper and paper doilie valentines. Made especially for mom from your favorite little prince or princess. As a kid we used to bring them home from our art classes. Hell, I used to decorate my valentines' up so good for my grandma Collins, she'd have to hang it on the clothesline to dry the glue out before stickin' it on the fridge. I admit.. I made the best cards every year. I always had the goal of making mine better than my sisters. Nope... no sir, no wimpy pom poms and hearts for me! I pulled out the big guns! Cotton balls and other valentines! Why waste time cutting out hearts that may not be even. that's right... cut out the ones from the store bought valentine's that you got earlier in class. Sure your classmates will be pissed at you for cutting up their valentine's.. Who cares.. they'll get over it just in time for Christmas... That's when I would cut out the Santa's from their cards!
If you don't have a lover, then you sit at home on the couch watching When Harry Met Sally and wondering why you are becoming more like Bridget Jones and her damn diary. The cat's scratching at the door... Your parents are calling you to remind you that you are ALWAYS the ONLY one answering your phone. Then the baby scuttles across the floor. OOpppss.. there's the reminder of why your alone this Valentine's day. She dumps a sippy cup of chocolate milk on the carpet and kindly plucked the tops off of all the freshly planted marigolds in the front garden. There..... there's my damn chocolate and flowers!
March is Shamrocks and Leprechauns.. I mean really.. Do I have to discuss the utter most importance of drinking green beer and talking about tiny people promising you gold if you wish on a four leaf clover! Ummm.. it's America people... We can get that same kind of shit from CNN nightly news.. Look at the stimulus package that the leprechauns in Congress are promising while their pushing four leaf clovers up the asses of Americans everywhere! Damn those tiny men!!
So it's Valentine's day coming up next month. Have you noticed that commercialism has got a hell of a racket set up!? There is a holiday in every month of the year! Every month!! They get our money coming and going! So now it's valentine's day on it's way in! The one's who have lovers have to beat down other lovers to get roses, cards, candy and whatever thing that their spoiled ass women want! Just like Christmas.. except this holiday will get a man sleeping on the couch for a month if he doesn't get her what she likes! Cause' we all know that nothing is truly from the heart anymore.
No more construction paper and paper doilie valentines. Made especially for mom from your favorite little prince or princess. As a kid we used to bring them home from our art classes. Hell, I used to decorate my valentines' up so good for my grandma Collins, she'd have to hang it on the clothesline to dry the glue out before stickin' it on the fridge. I admit.. I made the best cards every year. I always had the goal of making mine better than my sisters. Nope... no sir, no wimpy pom poms and hearts for me! I pulled out the big guns! Cotton balls and other valentines! Why waste time cutting out hearts that may not be even. that's right... cut out the ones from the store bought valentine's that you got earlier in class. Sure your classmates will be pissed at you for cutting up their valentine's.. Who cares.. they'll get over it just in time for Christmas... That's when I would cut out the Santa's from their cards!
If you don't have a lover, then you sit at home on the couch watching When Harry Met Sally and wondering why you are becoming more like Bridget Jones and her damn diary. The cat's scratching at the door... Your parents are calling you to remind you that you are ALWAYS the ONLY one answering your phone. Then the baby scuttles across the floor. OOpppss.. there's the reminder of why your alone this Valentine's day. She dumps a sippy cup of chocolate milk on the carpet and kindly plucked the tops off of all the freshly planted marigolds in the front garden. There..... there's my damn chocolate and flowers!
March is Shamrocks and Leprechauns.. I mean really.. Do I have to discuss the utter most importance of drinking green beer and talking about tiny people promising you gold if you wish on a four leaf clover! Ummm.. it's America people... We can get that same kind of shit from CNN nightly news.. Look at the stimulus package that the leprechauns in Congress are promising while their pushing four leaf clovers up the asses of Americans everywhere! Damn those tiny men!!
