Saturday, June 2, 2007

Laugh often


Today I watched a seminar with a gentleman who was speaking about humor.

I will admit that I find myself is some rather stressful positions from time to time and I realized that I am usually the one who put myself in those positions. Rather than laughing at my mistakes I choose to feel aweful about making the mistake. Once that emotion has kicked in then all sense of learning from it is gone!

Did I learn something today? Yes..

So from now on when you get stressed, sit in a chair and let out a huge... HA HA and then slap your knees with your hands and stamp your feet at the same time.

It will make you feel better, relieve your stress, help you focus and lower your blood pressure. All that from laughter...

In conclusion... when life starts to grind you down... remember... don't let the bastards get you down!!

Joke:

" A fluteplayer was up on stage giving a performance in front of the whole school. After the boy was done playing somebody stood up and said "someabitch". The principal was appauled and stood in front of the class and told everyone that they would stay after until who ever it was that called the flute player a "someabitch" came forward. One little boy stands up and says "I said it". The principal says... "So your the one that called the fluteplayer a someabitch?" The boy said "No sir... I'm wondering who called the someabitch a flute player!


When life gives you lemons... throw them at your enemies!

When life gives you limes.... Make a Margarita!


An optomistic little boy got a load of manure for his birthday and the pesomistic boy got a bunch of great toys. The pesomistic boy looked at his toys and through them aside as he conplained about them all.... The optomistic boy started digging in the manure.. When asked what he was doing digging in the manure, he replied " There's never this much shit without a horse somewhere!"


Positive thinking produces positive results!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Know it all!!


I can tolerate a lot of things but there is one thing that I can not tolerate!
It's a KNOW IT ALL!
Today I stood in class and watched a girl, who has done nothing but brag about how she works in the local hospital operating room yet she can not sterilize herself for surgery. GO FIGURE! All the while there was a general knowledge of what was going on in lab today she had to butt head with the teachers every time they told us how to do things for sterilizing yourself for surgery. All the girl kept saying was that her hospital didn't do it that way. The girl talked about how she was in surgery but didn't know the name of any of the instruments used. Hmmm..
She's a know it all...
She seems to be afraid that she will come out looking stupid after all the bragging she did during last semester.
Honestly, it took a lot to tolerate it. When we broke sterile... I want to knock her out.. All I coul do was smile and congratulate her on the wonderful way she asked questions during class. Hmmmm...... swallowing my pride...

Saturday, May 26, 2007

I am who I am


I am free from those who hold me back.
No longer persecuted by those who see me as less than they.
I am who I am
Not ever to be changed
I am tormented by demons that hold me hostage in my mind.
They count the lonely nights with me.
Seeing only visions of a lover I once never knew.
The eyes of a stranger to others yet lover to flesh no
mortal man has ever gazed upon with lust.
Reality is cold to those eyes who see the damage that mortality
has done to me.
Scares a soul seen by the naked eyes that pierce me
Preached to a mind that sees only the ideas of ones self
and redeems them with ink
I am who I am
A mistress of words.
Seductress to sentences that free my mind and freezes moments
in time.
Mother to captions I breath life into.
Dreamer to paragraphs that drown readers with awe.
I am who I am
My poetry tortures me.

Understanding


Understand me...
In this misunderstanding....
I worship not the man that has saved me from nothing
Nor has he washed my sins away with his
blood and tears..
Forgiven thoughts that I fail to cast away
I have broken sacred rules that allow me
to walk guilty in a world that
holds sins far greater than my own.
I care not for the man which turns his cheek to my needs
and crushes me with his definition of love...
Caring is for cowards who have not felt the pain of a broken heart
I feel nothing for the soul that does not weep for me.
I cry not for my own soul.
Cursing the one that has offered me no forgiveness for my
mistakes.
I crave not the flesh that stumbles over my pride
forsaking my tears as he laughed out loud
over my misery.
His misery is short to come
he will know the pain of falling
The coming of spirit death.
When the heart and soul becomes love dead.
And I feel nothing where once he inhabited the void
Understand me....
Tear drops baptise my feet and purify the eyes
so that they may see the mistakes
before they are made secondly.
I have no room for the man that sins against my soul
and buries his memories in the
arms of a stranger.
I am used
By him that thought me once pure
Tainted me with injustice and branded
my soul
Executed my spirit with the fires of jealousy.
Understand me...
No.... Do not understand..
Never will I be able to...

Dcguzman 7-2001
Copyright 2001


Friday, May 25, 2007

Highway Blues

Why, why... why do I have to get behind the slowest person on the road today?

I know why, because it's just my luck! That's why!

The speed limit is 55 mph on this road. Why is this lady driving 35 mph?

Blue lights... Siren... Yes Mr. Officer?... Oh the speed limit is 35! Wow.. I had no idea! I hate it when that happens!

I always have so much going on in my world that I never have the opportunity to look around. Maybe I should take the advice of the sweet old lady's I end up behind on Baxter Road. Drive the speed limit for once in my life and save some money.Maybe get some extra points back on that driving record.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Fussy Wussy


Little Miss Emma was being extra
fussy today.
She comes to me and places her little
hand on my knee all the while .. screaming!!!
I look down to her and without thinking I say,
"Emma... quit being a baby!"
She's 11 months old!